What Parents Should Know About: Dating lingo like "Curving","Ghosting", "DTR" & "Netflix and Chill"
As if it's not already hard enough to keep up with ALL the social media apps available and which our teens are using, many of us are also aware that there is another language that's being used to define dating. We had plenty of acronyms and saying from when we were younger like: NARC, P.Y.T., or NKOTB. How about using the word: killer for something that was awesome, sike when you didn't really mean what you had just said, the word "like" used as a verbal pause. Then there were the gambit of put-downs: buttmunch, dork, spaz, lame, or poser.
It may be helpful to understand some of the lingo that our kids are in to and even if they aren't familiar, they may ask you what it means. We'd like to share what we feel are the most relevant terms because "10's don't get left on read."
Teens often use this kind of lingo as a form of their identity, not necessarily to keep their parents in the dark. Teens crave their own identity in language the same way they wouldn't want to necessarily adopt their parents language or fashion. It's a way to express independence and to fit into their own social groups and social norms.
Curving: When teens use the term curving, they are talking about rejecting someone's romantic interest in them. Like a conversation that is slowly becoming more and more one-sided. This means the majority of the conversation is upheld by one person in the relationship, and the other one is the "curver."
DTR: DTR stands for "define the relationship." When teens use this term, they want to have a conversation with their significant other about where the relationship is headed.
Are they a couple? Are they ready to announce it to the world on social media by updating their relationship status? These are the things teens discuss when they use the term DTR.
Deepliking: Deepliking is a way for your teen or others to show that they like someone by scrolling through old social media posts and liking them. These likes are usually on photos and posts that are months or sometimes even years old.
Ghosting: Ghosting, or suddenly disappearing from someone’s life without so much as a call, email, or text, has become a common phenomenon in the modern dating world, and also in other social and professional settings.
Slow Fade: Slow Fade is an approach that is supposedly a kinder, gentler way to ghost someone by slowly fading from the picture. When a slow fade happens, your teen's love interest gradually fades away by making less and less effort to connect. The end result is longer and longer amounts of time between replies.
Left Me on Read:When your teen is "left on read," what this means is that they can see that their significant other has read their text message, but has not responded—sometimes for days. This is frustrating for teens, and adults for that matter, especially if they were discussing something important. This trend can often seen as a passive aggressive way to control the relationship and an early warning sign of dating abuse among teens.
Netflix and Chill : To parents, it may sound like the couple is just meeting to hang out and watch television together. But it could mean that their plan is to meet up and make out or have sex. The best thing to do is to follow up and find out what the intentions are.
Jelly: Although not used as often as it used to be, jelly stands for jealous or envious. And even though they are using a different word to describe feeling jealous, the emotions are still the same.
Extra: This term is used to describe someone who is over the top or dramatic. Generally, this is not a complimentary term and is often considered a criticism.
Basic: Like "extra," the term basic is not generally used as a compliment, but instead used as a criticism of another person who tends to like anything that is trendy or popular.
53X: If you see this in your teen's text messages or direct messages, you need to know that "53X" is leet speak for "sex." Leet speak is a form of communication that replaces common letters with similar-looking numbers.
"Do I need to MEMORIZE these terms?" No, but as we know, the world is a scary place so we need to continue to place all of our hopes and fears in God. So, our tip for when you're dealing with issues like these is to confide in God. Pray about your concerns—alone, with your teen, and even with your family or community. Do this, and know that God is by you and your teen’s side, no matter what happens.
If you missed our first blog on sexting and the dangers of technology and dating check it out. We've also recently discussed how Passion is not a Plan for dating.
Other interesting articles:
The 1980's Phrases and slang: https://inthe1980s.com/80s-slang-phrases/